Women’s Self-Defence Workshop Notes

Key Principles:

• The goal isn’t to “win” a fight but to escape or make the attacker stop.

• Sometimes, any resistance is enough to deter an attacker.

• Self-defence should be holistic—not just random techniques but an adaptable system.

• Under stress, simplification is key—decisions need to be instinctive.

• Size and strength are real advantages, but aggression bridges the gap—we compensate by attacking, hard, and to vulnerable targets.

What to do if we are being attacked and we cannot escape?
Attack with hard parts of your body to vulnerable targets
Primarily target the Eyes, Groin, Throat, the face & shins are also good targets. 

• Theory: Effective Targeting & Overcoming Strength Differences

• Hard parts of the body (knuckles, elbows, knees, feet, head).

• Primary targets: face, throat, groin (disable quickly).

• Secondary targets: back of hands, shins (less muscle, high pain).

• Using improvised weapons (phones, keys) to attack.

What to do if you’re grabbed? 

• Theory: Simplification Under Stress

• “Does the grab threaten your life?” → If no, revert to attacking (Plan A).

• If grabbed, avoid panic—fight immediately rather than trying to pry hands off.

What if my hair gets grabbed? 

• Hair grabs are common, not just from men but also from women in fights.

• Instinct is to pull away, but counterintuitive response is to drive in toward the attacker.

• Make sure to send a block to the direction you are pulled in case an attack comes towards you as you are pulled off balance.

What if I’m grabbed & dragged? 

• Theory: Fighting for Time vs. Physical Stopping

• A larger, stronger person can drag you if they are determined.

• If you can’t stop them outright, you must fight long enough to exhaust them, make it too much trouble, or attract help.

• Call for help loudly and specifically let others know you are being attacked: “I don’t know this person!”

What if the grab would kill me?

• Theory: Oxygen First – Survival Priorities

• Breathing is your #1 priority—like an airplane oxygen mask analogy.

• If choked, an attacker might absorb damage, assuming you’ll pass out soon—so you must break the choke immediately before attacking back.

• Rather than pulling the attackers arms away we are going to use explosive ‘plucking’ movements and attack as early as possible

What are the different types of situation I would face?

Social vs. Predatory Violence
 

• Theory: Understanding Types of Violence

• Social Violence (“Monkey Dance”): Common among men, often about status & hierarchy (e.g., bar fights).

• Predatory Violence:

• Resource Predator – Wants something from you (robbery).

• Process Predator – Enjoys the act of harming you (sexual assault, sadistic attacks).

• Is it OK to comply?

• Yes—If compliance makes things better (e.g., handing over a phone and the attacker leaves).

• No—If compliance makes things worse (e.g., being told to “get in the car”).

What if I’m threatened with a Knife? 

• Theory: When to Comply vs. When to Fight

• Handing over valuables is often the safest option.

• However, if compliance leads to an isolated location or further harm, fighting may be the only choice.

Pre-Fight: The “Interview” Stage

• Theory: Spotting & Stopping an Attack Before It Happens

• Predators test resistance—don’t hesitate to be ‘rude’.

• Trust your instincts—if something feels off, act immediately (cross the street, lock a door, remove yourself).

• Three levels of verbal response:

1. Ask: “Back off, please leave me alone.”

2. Tell: Stronger, more assertive command.

3. Make: Loud, direct, bordering on physical readiness.

What are the Red Flags that I should watch out for before a situation starts?

Pre-Incident Indicators  

• Theory: Recognizing Manipulation Tactics

1. Charm used as a strategy – Not all charm is bad, but if it feels forced or insistent, be cautious.

2. Forced coupling – Making you feel like you are “together” in a situation.

3. Too much detail – A liar over-explains.

4. Discounting “No” – Ignoring refusals and insisting.

5. Loan sharking – Doing a “favor” to make you feel obligated.

6. Unnecessary promises – “I promise I won’t do anything,” when you never asked for reassurance.

Closing Thoughts

• Empowerment Over Fear:

• The more you understand, the less likely you’ll need to fight.

• Trust your instincts, act early, and don’t be afraid to offend someone.

• Even a little bit of training today can make a difference years from now.